3). ROAD TO RECOVERY
I thank God again that I overcame that experience and able to share it. Even though I feel a bit of pain now, stronger now more than ever, I have overcome it in a way I never would have thought I could.
GOD RESTORED MY INNER AND OUTER BEING AND MADE ME WHOLE AGAIN.
I do not live with regrets, what would be the point of holding onto negativity eating me up inside for past mistakes and pain. It was not so at first, at first I was consumed with regret, guilt, anger, upset and drained like never before. But look at me now. I prayed over it and God helped me through it all, as for him and the girl I’ve left them to God will not succumb to their low level of actions.
Him and myself were able to be civil but feelings and tension made things awkward, all I know is that I have reached the point where I have reached the forgiving stage and working on bettering myself more daily. Now that God has blessed me with the chance to do so. I really dislike ungrateful people who don’t appreciate good things and the help you give them, but once again I leave it to God.
GOD is a master planner that’s for sure. After some time had passed was invited to BRIGHT SERENITY’S women’s conference titled ‘LETS GET MARRIED RIGHT’ How ironic.. So I attended and the praise and worship was awesome, been once already and left filled up with the word of God. So knew this one wouldn’t be any different. The word shared was insightful and I loved every minute of the programme. I said God is a master planner because he made it possible for me to attend this programme knowing full well what I would be able to take out of it.
At the end of the preaching they asked us who would like to be counselled and prayed for. At first I paid no attention to it and so as it was coming to a close prayed and read some notes. In my spirit I began to feel uneasy and so went to get some fresh air and came back with the thought of standing in line to get counselled and prayed for. I waited a while until it reached my turn to be seen to. I must say that moment the Holy Spirit took over and I wept in front of the counsellor like never before. As I wept I was also trying to explain to her what I was passing through and with her sympathizing nature it became easier to release it all. Bearing in mind that I had never met this woman before and never ever opened up to anyone like that before. God knows it felt so right because it was all spirit led in an environment where God was the centre of it all. Praise be to God.
After all was said and done I then told her about specific dreams I would have of me and the guy she then told me that it was not of God but the devil was blinding my eyes to see marriage with the guy so I would stay and not go breaking me down even more. But God being soo good made it possible for me to cross paths with this woman who revealed a lot to me and I must say after I felt as though a huge rock had been lifted off my shoulders and I was entering a new chapter in my life with the baggage cut off, it was the start of something new.
I felt so free having talked to her and my sis I went with, it was amazing, that day alone after a long time I let it all out in the most perfect way ever to help me finally move forward to where God was taking me to. From this moment onwards it became much easier to handle and I was finding myself again. God was doing wonders I was no longer blinded, hurt, weak and bitter, a total transformation.
I had the right people around me praying and helping me, I was working on myself and all that has led me to where I am today with ministry laid upon my heart and a renewed mind.
IF I CAN OVERCOME IT ALL, SO CAN YOU THAT’S FOR SURE. BOTTOM LINE IS I AM STRONGER, BETTER AND THE PAIN IS LEAVING GOD KNOWS.
WHAT GOD HAS PLANNED NOTHING OR NO ONE CAN EVER STOP IT. IT IS YOURS AND THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS.
I am no longer bound in the chains of bondage I realize my worth, what I deserve and what I don’t have to put up with. Just like I am always encouraging women to seek God and work on themselves and be patient for their boaz same way I should take my own advice and do the same. The main thing is that God knows my heart and the pain that is left He will help me work on it to overcome it all 100%.
I haven’t really voiced my opinions on hospitals before, but one thing I will say is that I absolutely dislike hospitals with a passion, I can be standing outside the building and just react to seeing it, everything about it I don’t like.
I remember recently I took a relative to get a check up and told them I will wait in the car for them. During the time I was in the car waiting for her, I witnessed ambulances driving in with patients, old people leaving the hospital, pregnant mothers and injured people on crouches all coming in and out of this hospital. As I looked closely at some of them I saw some of them laughing and joking, smiling and going about their business..
They were all human beings just like me different ages but still human. But what I picked up on was how they were all jolly and smiling despite the conditions they were in. Then I reflected on my own experience and it taught me something that no matter how hurt you are or what life throws your way, you will get through it and when you smile and involve yourself with others that too can help with the healing stage. What we pass through shouldn’t keep us down but more determined to fight it and live to see another day God willing.
I was amazed that just by sitting in my car watching these people I was able to come up with all this and I’ve noticed in more ways than one that I have become more analytical with my surroundings, people and life in general and it helps too, so I thank God for that, that I am able to see life’s situations in different ways. Life is soo precious everyday is blessings so we shouldn’t allow one thing or someone get the better of us because they didn’t give us life and that is not where our lives will end. We must stay on top form and be in the position to hear from God when He speaks to us.
I got teary eyed and just wrote some notes whilst I waited and said prayers thanking God He is just too much and soo amazing. All this and more just goes to show me that I am actually quite strong and have handled a lot which had I stayed could have taken a turn for the worse, thankfully it wasn’t so.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL