HELP... I AM STRESSED!!!

Hey lovelies,

Let us pray.

Dear Father

Thank you again for what you are doing in our lives, your word which never returns void, your word that heals, your word is life, your word is encouraging, your word equips us, your word brings wisdom, instruction, faith and the ability to be great in all that we do. Father sickness, stress, depression and whatever that is not meant to be in the body of Christ has no way to enter and stay in your children, we decree and declare that anything and anyone who is causing this will be cast down and you will rise up in those situations to strengthen us and elevate us.. May we all continue to focus on you alone to have that intimate relationship with you, not just because of what you bless us with but because of who you are.

In you precious name we pray halleluyah

 

HELP… I AM STRESSED..

Many times we like to do things and then complain we are stressed or that it was too much to handle. First and foremost it is important to understand that there are DOERS in the kingdom and DOERS of self. A doer in the kingdom prays and puts God first in all they do knowing that in order to succeed in that task they must be equipped to handle what comes with that task, that is to say that when mistakes are made you understand and you keep on going, when people question what you are doing you keep on going (when God instructs you to do something please understand that it shouldn’t be negotiated for when you think the time is right) For Him to instruct you above anyone else, is to say that He believes and knows that you can do it and His name will be glorified, He trusts in you to do it and He knows that you will do your best not doubt the process and allow Him to take full control.

When you are selfless and doing the will of God you are a powerful tool in the kingdom. Yes He calls you to do it, but where there is lifting there are attacks and those attacks come in the form of distractions, sickness, negative people you name it. BUT He says in Philippians 4:13 YOU yes YOU can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. So you aren’t alone when you do things He is there every minute, every hour, every second, every day of the week isn't that amazing? He is full time with us even when we doubt, even when we fear stepping out, even when we say no, even when we sin. He is our forgiving, loving Father. We are not perfect and His grace is sufficient for us all and His mercy is new every morning. Repent daily – pray for the renewal of the spirit- pray for the renewal of the mind – pray for protection and more wisdom and be on your way. HE GOT YOU AND FAILURE IS NOT YOUR PORTION.

Stress – a state of mental or emotional strain on oneself with demanding circumstances around them, they cannot handle. Ladies and gents God did not call you to be stressed, fearful, worried, filled with anxiety and hopelessness. When He created you it says in Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I sanctified you, I ordained you a prophet to the nations.”

Do you know how powerful this is? This is to say that God knew you, long before you were even conceived, He knew you way before that and had a plan for you. He saw you as His valuable treasure and had a great purpose in mind for YOU. So why let things like negativity, stress and change in circumstances get you down? When God is saying you are way above all that and more. You have to get to a place where you know who you are in Christ, your worth and what you can do and what you need to say NO to. It is not that you are rude or selfish but it is that you know He is taking you somewhere and so your time is precious and not everything and everyone deserves your time. Not all of them can go to where you are going to.

I learnt this the hard way- People knowing and seeing that I was in ministry assumed that my life was perfect and I had no problems and life was just blessing upon blessing. God has blessed me and did back then BUT that is not to say I didn’t have attacks, that is not to say the devil didn’t try to attack my family, that is not to say I didn’t lose things. So the pedestal I was placed on was too high and I took on others problems, and favours they asked me to do on top of what I was facing and over time depriving myself of much needed time in His presence. Time for me and time to do other things which needed to be done all because I couldn’t say no, I can’t do it. Which led to my first big breakdown  – I felt drained, very weak, sick and sinking close to wanting to stop all together- I had made up my mind that ministry wasn’t for me and I could no longer go on.

But you see that was my fault, when God called me, He didn’t say accept to do all things from others, He didn’t say to act the way I did – sinking close to people pleasing. So I went on the break for a few months because I needed to be rebuilt, strengthened and taught the error of my ways. We are all built to do different things, with different gifts and different people to reach out to. But we cant do it all alone, hence why it says in Ephesians 4:11-13 “And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and the knowledge of the son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ.”

This is to say that the kingdom as a whole, we ALL have work to do a responsibility to heal, nurture, give, build, fulfil command, and more in the body together as one. Because all the work God commands to be done cannot be done by just one of us but all of us, without division. So when we have this in mind there is nothing like wasting time on the wrong things, wrong people, wrong tasks causing stress and all sorts.

What I do now is I make a to do list of things I need to get done weekly/daily and work through those things to keep me in check and if I know there are things I cannot do, I do not commit to them because my time is precious, I cant do it all, I need time in His presence too. So I am able to discern what I need to dismiss and what I need to take on. That way you have peace, no stress, on top of everything and more importantly self-discipline and able to hear God clearly and for my spiritual eyes to stay open.

Going back to my wilderness break He let me know what it is I shouldn’t have done and what I needed to do more of, let me tell you as much as I love being in ministry, it can get very much at times for the fact that there are people who continually come to just take take take and then come again and again in this vicious cycle *transparent moment*. This may seem harsh but you see you have to understand that we are just vessels God is using, we are all vessels and we are not here for others to put us in the position of God EVER. So at times I will pray with you encourage you and redirect you back to God and ask that you pray over all we have done for Him to show forth and direct your path. So that is where the no’s started to come in because there were others who just wanted to take advantage, we have to be careful that we do not loose ourselves all in the name of helping others and not being able to say no.

Do you know that is damaging to the soul alone, if for every person who came to you asking for something you said yes yes yes yes and then after was left so drained, empty and weak. Do not take on what you cannot handle and what will cause you to stress. Although I have learnt to say no it is still hard at times but gets better, because I refuse to go back to that dark space where I was so low and weak because of taking on others issues and burdens which should not be the case. God broke me down to the core and rebuilt me in my time of need, weak fed up state and gave me beauty for ashes to make a comeback to learn and change my ways.

The breaking process will be painful but in order to grow and build as a child of the Most High you will need that. I am glad I was afflicted and battered because from that I now see who I am in Christ, I know my daddy and how faithful, loving and powerful He is and so long as we remain obedient to Him He will never forsake us.

SO SOME TIPS I APPLY TO MY LIFE, I WOULD LIKE YOU ALL TO TAKE AWAY AND REFLECT ON:

  • BEFORE YOU PLAN TO TAKE ON ANYTHING CONSULT GOD ABOUT IT
  • PRAY AND PLAN BEFORE DIVING IN
  • MAKE SURE YOU HAVE THE TIME TO COMMIT TO IT/ THEM
  • LEARN THAT IT IS OKAY TO SAY NO IF YOU CANT DO SOMETHING
  • BE PATIENT THINGS DON’T HAPPEN OVERNIGHT
  • ALWAYS ASSESS WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND IF IT WILL BRING TWO THINGS- GROWTH IN THE KINGDOM AND GROWTH IN YOU OR ARE YOU JUST DOING IT FOR THE SAKE OF SAYING YOU DID IT
  • MAKE A TO DO LIST DAILY/ WEEKLY THAT WAY YOU ARE DISCIPLINED AND ON TOP OF ALL YOU ARE DOING
  • TAKE TIME OUT – RELAX, SPEND TIME IN HIS PRESENCE
  • READ THE WORD AND MEDITATE ON IT
  •  

 GOD BLESS YOU ALL

BOUNDARIES

Dear Father,

Thank you, for all that you are doing in our lives, for us being alive, being called yours, learning and growing but above all walking in purpose to serve. For those who don’t know their purpose I pray that they shall draw closer to you to receive the in pour and direction needed to walk in purpose and build on intimacy with you. So, help us Father in our walks, we pray and believe that each thing that happens is for a reason and that our trust and faith in you shall not be shaken despite what is shown in the natural.

 BOUNDARIES, a word that has been on my heart for some time and studying it in training caused me to delve deeper to look at its importance as well as my own personal boundaries.

Boundaries can be defined as a line which marks the limits of an area, a dividing line. To have protection over what you don’t want tampered with or yourself to keep out negative people and thoughts that will cause a negative effect on you.

Now linking to interpersonal relationships with others it gives us the peace of mind we need when we can take control of what we want around us, as well as in our personal space. We are all unique, with different identities, feelings, morals and responsibilities necessary to function day to day. Healthy boundaries I believe we must all have, as well as respecting the personal boundaries others have as well. You can’t expect to have boundaries set in place but then not respect other people’s boundaries, that is unfair and double standards living.

Boundaries when you think about it relates to self and self- control in how we can control what comes near us, to control our desires, as well as being able to set in place what needs to be worked on and what doesn’t bring forth growth. Not everything or everyone is healthy for you and so to make sure we are secure and sane as well as at peace, we must make sure that we look after ourselves well, not just physically, emotionally and spiritually too above all.

What is not worked on that doesn’t bear forth fruit, can damage your spirit and way of doing things, I say this because you then become comfortable in being complacent to things you feel can’t be changed but should just be coped with and that is not the right mindset to have at all.

Bearing in mind there are those people who do not have boundaries and get carried away thinking that, just because they do not have boundaries must mean others don’t too. If you are not careful and you are weak mentally and spiritually, you will be controlled by their selfish tactics and not only is this very unhealthy but draining to you and does no good in helping you become who God wants you to become. Rather you’re a puppet on strings manipulated by the actions of others, who at times may not always know better or be aware of what they are doing.

You are free in Christ, a new creation in Him so do not allow yourself to be caged by the actions of others, who may or may not always agree with what you do and believe is best for YOU. ‘You have your personal space and either they respect your boundaries or stay away’ it is that simple because you can’t let just anyone close and you can’t entertain everything others entertain too. Protect your eye gates to let what enters your spirit help in your growth and relationship with God.

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Boundaries set need to be boundaries that will help you with good motives to have that boundary in place. For example, one of your boundaries might be ‘I will guard my heart from those who don’t have any boundaries set in their own lives and not let just anyone close to me.’ Your personal space is yours to use as you wish and with that though not everyone will understand, at least you do and stand by it to protect yourself.

There can be boundaries that are sinful that cause you to be selfish to set people far away from you simply because you just don’t like them from ‘judgement’. Or because you just want to hurt them, you punish them by excluding them from things you and others plan. In the kingdom community if your boundaries are group related to keep people out, then check your heart and motives because not only is that unhealthy it can affect those who don’t feel loved, supported or valued.

In my training, we were discussing why the need of boundaries is important not only in this field but in all areas of our lives. As a believer who does many different things I have boundaries in place, firstly in my spiritual walk, to let the worldly influences and people I once knew as worldly friends stay away. Because no matter how strong you are, you are not perfect and can fall. So do not put yourself in situations where you can fall and then blame it on others, you should know better (said with love J) A good scripture to use with this is 2 Corinthians 6:14 ‘Children of the light have no fellowship with darkness and are separate from the world.’ So with the word saying this why would you allow yourself to be open to just anyone and anything that can cause darkness to creep in?

Yes, it is good to exude love, kindness, and support to others, we are believers, God is love and we must be examples of His love here on earth. BUT that is not to say that we must let our guard down to have the worldly type of living and character and then say we are His, we are either in darkness or light not in between because we are then lukewarm. Be wise in your boundary setting and use wisdom for how you apply it.

 

  • Take responsibility
  • Know that healthy boundaries links in with healthy self- control.
  • God has given you and I freedom, but if you live outside of it there will be consequences, be wise in your actions. Romans 6:23 ‘For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.’
  • Boundaries are key to healthy living spiritually and peace of mind, and limit negative thoughts as well as negative people. Not to say they won’t come in numbers, but you will know how to deal with them.
  • Boundaries help you not to sin, maintain respect and walk in accordance to the word of God and not man.
  • Check your heart and motives when you set boundaries, are they pure and of good intentions?
  • Boundaries keep you safe and alert for what is going on and how to best avoid what can bring harm, for protection as well as peace as well.
  • Knowing when to say yes as well as when to say no, not overstretching yourself, because when you do that it will be you to handle the consequences not those who you kept saying yes to. You feel it more and being in these situations can be very draining.

 

  • Accept that others have boundaries, even if you don’t agree with all of them. But don’t make people feel as though they owe you anything and that their boundaries aren’t good enough. It is not your place to say that.
  • We have a right to have boundaries, with the freedom to grow and do what is right for us.
  • Self-control is a fruit of the spirit for believers, Galatians 5:22-23 but is not something unbelievers in the dark can live by, they are controlled by sin and lost in their ways. The importance of setting our boundaries is also saying that we are taking responsibilities for our own actions, which in turn leads to us making the right decisions in our lives. We are not being selfish but we are saying that we need to control ourselves and what we allow close.
  • 1 Corinthians 15:33 ‘Do not be deceived and misled, evil companionship corrupts and depraves good manners and morals and character.’ Don’t allow yourself to be used and abused.

REMEMBER BOUNDARIES ARE SET IN PLACE TO PROTECT YOUR SPACE AND EVEN THOUGH NOT EVERYONE WILL RESPECT THEM DOESN’T MEAN THEY ARE WRONG.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL