Hey everyone,

Trust you are all well

Internal battles are very dangerous and I know this very well, the internal struggles within that you do not hand over to God can do more damage than good, that is why I encourage self-checks and honesty and transparency with God – because there are times we may not always want to be open with people but we shouldn’t take that same stand point with God ever.

He created us and knows all our struggles so there is no need to try to hide anything from Him. I want to encourage you with this to know that no two days are the same, life will get tough and at times the thought of giving up seems sweeter than carrying on. But in the midst of it all we must ensure that we are surrendered to God and that any open wounds that have gone unseen must be given to God, because we are not only punishing ourselves but also those around us.

Heavy with issues but saying you are fine, does no one but only you harm. So rise above the mask lifestyle and give all to God, your hurts, your struggles, your pain. Be free – be healed – be joyful and at peace.

I had father wounds that needed healing and did struggle internally for some time and though I thought I was okay circumstances that took place caused me to sit up and really face my character and get healing and since coming out of that this year, I have never looked back.






Hey everyone,

Trust you are all well

Today we will be speaking on the internal struggles within; we can all agree that we live in a society which likes to make people act and feel as though they need to have everything together and cant show that there will be bad days and trying times.

The danger of wearing masks is that you ignore the danger signs of what needs work within; to help you improve and get better because you are living a life that is a fantasy and not the actual reality. When there are wars going on within you, you find that you internalise a lot and take things out on people, you live in denial and always assume that you are fine no matter what.

What we do not face now, we will have to face again sometime later and it could be worse at that moment, compared to the moment you realised it and ignored it. No one is perfect and life happens, but we need to act and apply on self-care to be able to be healthy internally and externally with what we take in and bring out into our environment.

The errors of overlooking something internally is that you will always point fingers at others, judge and think you are okay when in actual fact you are the problem. You are the toxic person and you need the work done on you. That is why it is so important to repent and heal, we are God’s masterpieces, He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago, as it states in Ephesians 2:10

Your character needs work, and if you do not address the internal battles within and carry the baggage how can God trust you, if you keep what He wants to work on and bless you through it?














     Hey everyone

Trust you are all well

Rev 21:4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” We can look forward to this, look to God in everything and get your healing to progress and not stay bound.

Today we will be talking about childhood hurts, this is something that I myself had been on a journey on once upon a time, to learn about and heal from. Because remember in life everything that we do, think or feel, most times have a root that can be linked to our past, going as far as childhood and if it is not dealt with can affect us in a major way in different friendships, relationship and with family too.

Childhood hurts for many could involve abuse – physical, mental, emotional you name it, lack of family units, bullying, self image issues, not feeling good enough etc.

The foundations that we have known, which have shaped our minds and actions to some extent, can be tainted and unhealthy. For so long that baggage of the past has then been on many people’s shoulders and the question one must ask is “are you really delivered?” Have you really let God in to deal with deeper issues of self you either don’t think about or have suppressed it for so long. To be delivered from what others did to you, as well as receiving the inner healing you so desperately need to be made whole and set free and not repeating life in cycles.

As a qualified counsellor the journey to this point has taught me so much more about people’s behaviour, their speech, feelings and view points on things. You find that a lot of people have deep wounds from parents and people from their past that have done them wrong and they have lived in the hurt for so long that they no longer know or even recognise who they are.

One thing I want to say and standby is that the moment you take your hurts to God, repent, seek forgiveness as well as forgive those who wronged you, will bring you healing, growth and a healthier mindset that no one can take the credit for. But if you do not take the steps to speak up and do what is right for you, you’ll find that you will keep staying and repeating in disappointments, self-sabotage, grudges, anger and setbacks. Don’t ever let the things of old and what people have done to you affect you so much that you lose your peace, guidance, joy and happiness.

This is not to justify or water down what you have been through, not at all. But to get you to sit up and let this post push buttons that need to be pushed and lead you back to our Father for your healing.

Playing the victim never gets anyone anywhere, it only keeps you stagnant wanting sympathy and when that is not shown you react and think everyone is against you. No special one- that is toxic living and you need to receive the deliverance that will take you from where you are now to a better, more fulfilling place in Christ.

This topic has been heavy on my heart for while, probably more now than before because I counsel people and see and feel the pain when they share things.

Let this be a starting point to get you thinking and take all hurts back to God and if you believe you are okay, still go back to God and ask Him to show you your heart and if here is anything you need to let go of.

Praying for you all and pray that this post will convict you and get you closer to Abba Father to help you heal and move forward in a healthier way.


Loving you in prayer





One thing I love God for is His love for us, He loves us unconditionally a love that is like no other, a love that is second to none and when you experience it will never want to depart from Him ever. Indeed He wants the best for us and nothing less than we deserve to have and be in life. Peace, love, restoration and wholeness to become what He has destined us to be. That is one of the reasons why I hold.

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Dear Father, 

Thank you for your love and grace that is sufficient for all, thank you for never leaving us nor forsaking us, thank you for the word of God which never changes, is the same yesterday today and forever more. Thank you Father for everything and more importantly thank you for never being part time with us. In your mighty name we pray and we say Hallelouyah

As it says ‘Don’t rely on anyone’ I was speaking to a dear sister of mine about this and it is something that comes up often and in doing a reality check, came to the realisation that a weakness I had was relying on people. Yes this is a weakness because when you rely on people and they say they are going to do things and then don’t do it, you find your plans being messed up, taking longer than planned and just having that sense of frustration of thinking- it would have been better to do it myself, rather than to rely heavily on man. Because man is not perfect, they say things today and tomorrow it’s a different story, we have to be very careful at the level of reliance we place on people.

Everyone is going through something; we all have our own crosses to carry. But being that we are relational beings and need people, it can easily be misconstrued to mean that they will always be there when you need them to help with something. Now I'm not saying do it all yourself, what I am saying is don’t heavily rely on people to do things expecting it will turn out the way you want it to. You can’t entrust things 100% to just anyone cause then you will never get things done, so learn to trust in your capabilities too and remember that stepping out in faith to ensure things are done properly to a high standard, is not a bad thing.

But it is easier said than done and as it says in Romans 12:2 ‘Do not be CONFORMED to this world, but be transformed by the RENEWAL of YOUR MIND, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.’ Not all that is good is God and not all plans that you put in place does He want you to follow through on. So we must get to that level where we are productive in our works that is ordained by God and not man because it sounds good to the ears. We need to know that our hands are productive and not just busy, taking you away from the path God wants us to be on. That’s why it is important to keep all plans in prayer align it with the word and seek the purpose of it, is it worth doing? Has God said to do it? What is the benefit of doing this? Will it help advance the kingdom?

You see relying on people can have devastating effects, because the more you rely on people the more you’ll become stagnant, not doing anything because as far as you are concerned those people are the RIGHT people in your eyes to do the task at hand. No it is not always the case, we are not perfect but we serve a perfect God and indeed faith without works is dead – James 2: 26 ‘For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.’

We all need to have the faith, but not to have faith to just entrust anyone to do the work, we need to do. We need to be sure we are aligned with the right people to help us and not throw all the work on them to do.

Step out in faith + trust + actions + God’s instruction = Fruitful results.

It is important as well to use our time wisely and not rely on man to do it all, especially not to look at numbers. Because two quality faithful people are more than enough to get the work done rather than five people or more who lack faith, substance, wisdom and direction to get the work done.

Learn as you go along to invest in yourself, pick out areas of weakness, areas which are strong, how you act around others, look at all these factors and more and develop on it to be and do better. You need to do this daily as well as having a close intimate relationship with God – like my sister put it ‘you are in private service with God working on you, and to the outside world you are under construction – once this period of time has been utilised then you are ready to go out again and make better choices with the strength to endure and know who is who.’

I used to be that lost woman who had her happiness planted into the actions of people and what they said to me. If someone says they are going to do something I would be happy and expectant. But humans beings would also bring disappointments. Then I would find myself back to square one and didn’t really learn until later on. That trusting and relying heavily on others can do more damage than good. I learnt the hard way after several disappointments that it is important to seek God in all you do to know the purpose of things and how to do it. Knowing all this helps you have a backbone, pushes you to pray more and read His word more. Yeshua when He was here on earth was disappointed and so we shouldn’t think that we too wont be disappointed, but it is important to know how to handle it. After all we are all limited resources and cant over stretch ourselves to please man at the expense of our peace, sanity and walk in Christ.


Look at the Israelite's they spent 40 years in the wilderness going around in circles, in disobedience, trusting in their own instincts, thinking they knew better, only to reach dead ends and have so much time wasted. This is what happens when you are not fully committed and reliant on God, you take path B when God is saying path A is the right one to take. Flesh will have you do what you want. God has good plans for us and not plans to ruin us, so by us not following His plan is foolish in itself, because it is saying we know ourselves more than He does. Then we miss our way and run back to Him again and again.

For the last half of this post would like to share the notes I took away from TD Jakes sermon titled – ‘The sparring partner’ I was blessed, convicted and speechless at how timely it was. To show me areas I needed to take up to God and things I needed to cut off.

The sparring partner – was defined as one who will challenge you, prepare you and uplift you for what is to come – like a boxer who is training with his sparring partner in the ring to prepare for a big fight. But one important key he highlighted was that when things happen we shouldn’t always be fast to blame the devil sometimes it is how God would allow it to be.

Because it is the adverse environments that prepare us ahead of time, prepare us and cause us not to rely on people’s words. Not everyone means well and some speak through a blur of deceptive ways. Life is a combination of good and bad – but it is those advancements that will cost you – the revelations, blessings and emotional physical growth.

He started of with the powerful verses in-

2 Corinthians 12:6-10 which reads ‘For though I would desire to glory, I shall not be a fool; for I will say the truth: but now I forbear, lest any man should think of me above that which he seeth me to be, or that he heareth of me. And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to strike me, lest I should be exalted above measure.


For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.’

What I love about Apostle Paul here is how transparent and bold he was, to let us see the inner depth of His walk with God, He knew the standards of Christ and ensured he followed them, he condemned being too exalted and humbled himself to understand that thorns in the flesh are not there to punish us but teach us, strengthen us and keep us on track with renewed minds and spirits. We may not fully know what this so called thorn in the flesh actually was but whatever it was, was tough to handle so he went to God in prayer, to have it removed but God refused.

For Him to pray this must have meant it was very painful to bear and hard to cope with, but he was indeed persistent in his prayer – even though his prayer wasn’t answered in his pain, God enabled him to be stronger in character, wiser, humble and more sympathetic with others. This shows us the love he had for God and how in our trying times God can equip you with what you may not have prayed for, but what He knows you need. God has His ways of doing things, so we shouldn’t always think that His timing is ours, we should still pray, trust and believe in Him despite what comes our way.

Another important element to pick up on here is that though Paul prayed for healing he didn’t receive that right away, this showed me that what we think is right at the time to receive is not what God has in mind. His thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways. But in all things never feel that God separates Himself from us and doesn’t care because He does more than you could ever imagine.

God’s power is indeed always displayed in our weakness, so that should encourage us, equip us and give us hope to endure. We all have limits we can’t do it all, but that is why we need to rely on God much more than we do on people (the people He created, the people He knows better than we do), it will enable us to be more effective in our walks to know all this, deepen our understanding and go to God in all things instead of man.

We tend to have the tendency to think that we have all we need, to be able to do what we need to do. But that opens the door for pride and self-gratification thinking we know best, giving tasks to the wrong people and then having it all crumble before us. It is important to humble ourselves let God fill us and move as He speaks and not before, because His plan for us is not to be weak and defeated but to be strong and able to handle what He gives us, even when obstacles and negative people show up. Our dependency on Him covers all this with the power to leave lasting results we wouldn’t have been able to achieve alone.

Going back to the sermon it is important to not compare ourselves to others, because many have a facade of what they want us to see and so you thinking they are reliable and true to their word, will not lead you down the right path if they aren’t even true to themselves.

Lastly coming on to the final point he touched on, our surroundings as being ‘controlled environments’ where the devil has to ask God for permission to afflict us (book of Job) It shows that God is in control of all things and nothing can get past Him, He may make way for the afflictions but it is not to punish us but to work on character and purge us of what we do not need.

So again in all things, rely on God and let Him guide you.

God bless you all